It’s Good Friday and I am UPSET!

This morning when I woke up the first two thoughts that came to mind was : acceptance and well wishes. I accepted myself. And I wished myself well. Then I sent that message out into the Universe, therefore accepting everything and everyone and wishing everyone and everything well. Then, I  affirmed: I am grateful for life.And suddenly felt UPSET! Because it’s GOOD Friday.

Spike the dog chilling. Life gave him lemonades so he decided to just chill in the shade.

It’s 10 April 2020, day 16 of our national 21 day lock – down in South Africa. If  I am not mistaken, our lock -down his been extended by another 14 days. In total we’ll have 35 days of lock- down. Isn’t that amazing! I am so UPSET!

Today is also day 80 of my 90 days of Estelle is WELL self- love journey and this has been a very interesting trip so far. For myself and others. In this post I would like to address the current state of our nation, South Africa and the current state  from the perspective of a South African. A proud member of the Rainbow Nation. A human being. A woman. A significant other. A furbaby momma. An expat and warrior of love and light.

Think of me as your neighbour, jou buurvrou,jou dogter, jou secret crush, jou sister, jou niggie, jou maatjie, jou gibbes.

It’s Good Friday and I am very UPSET!

I am UPgrading my SETtings. I have been having sleepless nights, so that I can enjoy restful and peaceful days. I have been working around the clock with different time zones to meet deadlines, attend and actively participate in fundraisers, problem solve,delegate, network, complete daily tasks and get my life back on track while knowing that the whole world is topsy turfy right now.

Spike has also been having sleepless nights. He safe guards my parents and our home. This is our kingdom. My father built this house from the ground up and my community helped and contributed as well. My brother contributes to this household, I have contributed and continue to contribute to house and my parents enjoy having a roof over their head and a bed to rest their bodies in. They have invested their whole lives into it and now they humbly enjoy the fruits of their labour, sacrifice and dedication to their dream of a having a home with a garden and courtyard where they can hang their washing to dry, sit on the stoep while they have a meal and look at the colourful walls with pride.

We have always done our best to protect and respect our space, maintain and safe guard our home and enjoy what we have just as it is. We have enough. We worked for our home and we know that others work hard and smart for their homes and living spaces as well.

Sometimes other things or other people  might want to disrupt or disregard our homestead and then makes us feel, unsafe. Worried. Unappreciated. Disheartened. Threatened. Angry. Confused. Betrayed. On Edge. Paranoid.

This house is as old as I am. 33 years strong. Now, imagine our house to be your house, but instead of it being a house, it’s you. Yes, You. Would you like it if people just came into your backyard unannounced, uninvited, with the intention of robbing you blind, stealing fruit from your trees, dumping glass and plastic over the vibacrete, keeping you up all night with loud music on a week day, ringing your doorbell non- stop and then running away and acting none the wiser.

This, after many warnings, talks, communication, giving notice, explaining, suggestions,guidelines etc. and then you still have the stance of saying “but I can do whatever I want, and nobody can tell me what to do”.   I value life. and I respect death. If I am presented with a choice, I choose life, every time. The only time I choose death is when I kill people with kindness. ( this is not a literal meaning nor am I threatening to take someone’s life, it is meant as a way of saying be nice even when people are unkind)

You do have rights, but it shouldn’t negatively affect, harm, hurt or put others in danger. And if it is pointed out to you that what you are doing or want to do right now during lock-down, could put others in danger, wouldn’t you rather just focus on getting UPSET instead? Think about the people that you love. Think about the people who love you.

Spike and I decided to be mindful and have an impromptu photo shoot. Nee dankie, rissies is nie goed vir honde nie, maar rus is.
Ek is mal oor die rooi kleur. Dis lieflik ja, dankie, maar nee dankie. Ek doen wat is goed vir my gesondheid.
I am actually enjoying this. Just chilling.

I am a dog lover and dog is love. They take care of us, keep us company, keep us young and make us laugh by just being themselves. My dog, Bobo ( I will comment more in coming posts) taught me to enjoy my own company, eat healthier, hug myself and others with compassion and care and to sit in silent company of all walks of life. I love you Bobo,we’ll be reunited soon.

FOMO is a NO- GO for 14 more days and that is a blessing in disguise!

So we are all familiar with the term or concept of FOMO. The fear of missing out. What if I miss out on this one’s birthday party, what if I don’t get invited to a wedding, what if I miss the game on TV? What if I am not in the whatsapp group, where will get memes?

This is a blessing in disguise. Our government is helping us to stay safe and alive. We have time to sit with our family members and friends. We can appreciate that we are being given instructions and proper guidance so that we can flatten the curve with this learning curve of staying put. Sitting on your own stoep. Ry Jan Tuis Bly se kar. Hang aan jou eie boom se takke. Maak kwaren- tuin in jou eie agterplaas. Vat n blaaskans van jou baas.

Why don’t we try and change our perspective a little and assign new meaning to FOMO.Focus On Moving On. Let’s do a little self-check exercise together. Ask yourself this and be patient, kind, gentle and honest with yourself.

Dear self : What have I always wanted to for myself  if I had 21 days ( now 35 days bonus time baby!)

I know that the first thing that comes to mind right now is to go on holiday. Our automatic responses work in our favour for habitual things such as stopping when you see a red light or jumping when you hear a sudden loud noise,but wanting to go on holiday right now because everyone is at home and it means you will have more peace and quiet at some holiday resort might resort in you losing out on life in the long run.

I would love to break away. I had a silent retreat scheduled for my birthday to help me with my mental health issues,so that I could come back stronger, grounded and centered and get back to my life but life is saying, not right now. Unfortunately that is not possible.

I respect and honour the organizers for acting in compliance and letting me know that I won’t be able to attend. I feel no FOMO ( Fear of missing out ) but rather more FOMO ( Focus on moving on ) and that is something to applaud.

We can’t break curfew. Not here in South Africa, not in Colombia, nor in Ecuador, nor any of the other nations currently under lock-down.STAY SAFE. We need to honour  the rules that have been set in place so that we can live to tell the tale.So that we can thrive as a nation who is starting to embrace social co-hesion and solidarity.

So let’s look at some other options of what we can do. Things that you can do indoors or within your own living space, by yourself or with your loved ones and pets.

Here are some of mine :

  • I practice mindfulness ( see images of Spike ), do daily meditations, do mirror work, inner work, yoga and self care. If these terms are unfamiliar to you, well done! This is an opportunity for you to DIY( do it yourself ) by being a little adventurous and doing some research so that you can have look for yourself, to see if it tickles your fancy. It’s open to your discretion and simply a suggestion.


  • I sing, recite poetry, write, blog, brainstorm ideas and new concepts for my blogs, books,products, poetry bundles, live performances and this is how I express myself. I need nobody to serve as a soundboard or to motivate me, it comes naturally and it’s very satisfying to keep myself company with creativity,music and the arts


  • I keep in touch without losing touch with others. This is still very much a work in progress for me. We don’t always know what is going in everyone’s lives from moment to moment or even month to month, but I do my best to keep in touch with my loved ones. It’s a soft skill that is essential to me. It might not be for you, so just do you then. Just keep in mind that if people don’t keep in touch with you either that you have to respect that, even if you don’t understand why. Don’t assume the worst. Just wish them well.


  •  Do handicrafts, I have been up-cycling off cuts of wood from my father’s stash and making word art with it with my niece and nephew’s pencils,crayons and markers. It’s a good way to relax and you can give it as a gift to someone or start a new collection if you like collecting thing.


  •  I studied different languages throughout my academic career and now I have reached that point where I am just enjoying languages, especially Yoruba and Swahili and Pidgin. I love listening to African music and even though I have no idea what are saying I just love it! I am also obsessed with Reggaeton and that keeps my Spanish acquisition going. So with languages the options are endless!



Meet Spike, he is an essential worker to and he stays home.

Life is colour -full. Die sonnetjie is uit en ek geniet my gate uit!
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